Family Before Career

This post might ruffle a few feathers, so a warning to those of you who do not have a strong constitution. I take a strong position on this issue, and I make no apologies if it might offend some.

This is the first time I have written on this topic, but I have talked a lot about it. Neither Dads nor working Moms are exempt. If you travel extensively with your job, I hope you are single.

I am talking about the road warrior. Some road warriors come home Friday night and leave Sunday afternoon, absent all week. Some stay away from their families for weeks at a time on a regular basis. I am not talking about people who travel once a month or go to a conference for a week.

If your job requires you to be on the road and away from your family for the majority of the week, you will regret it one day. This is especially true if you have children. Children need their Dads and Moms in their life in a substantial way. I mean daily.

There are professions that require excessive travel. If your passion lies in a profession that requires you to have a home away from home, think hard. If you want a spouse and kids, think really hard. The consequences are great.

One of my readers asked the question, “How do you survive your husband being away a lot?” Survive? That is a strong word with life-altering implications. However, it’s a great word to describe what the family that is left behind must do. It must survive without Mom or Dad.

I have four children and I spent two years of my career traveling every week. I almost lost my youngest son. He pulled away and didn’t even want to spend time with me. At the ripe age of 3, he had no idea when I would be there and when I would not. To deal with this he had to shut me out; it was too painful.

It took me almost a year to get him back after I stopped the insanity. There are still residual effects from those two years.

Don’t underestimate what traveling will do to your family. Don’t put your family on the altar. If you can, reduce your current travel if you are not a road warrior. Putting your career before your family is absolutely unacceptable and toxic.

Rant over. My intention is not to condemn, even though my words are harsh. Excessive travel is something that I believe is inexcusable. Let’s call it what it is. There is no room for political correctness when it comes to the emotional health of a family.

I have to check myself regularly. I ask myself if I am starting to put my job ahead of my family. If I see it starting, I realign.

While you all know I am an advocate for being successful in your career, it should never be at the expense of your family.