Don’t Get Along With Your Boss?

I was preparing for a short interview with Bruce Barber, “The Real Life Survival Guide,” and I thought I should share what I prepared.

The question was: “What steps should you take if you are not getting along with your boss.”

Great question.

Tough to solve.

Communication is almost always at the core of the “bad” relationship. It can be one way or both ways. Either is damaging. The strained relationship is just a symptom.

First question you should ask yourself is “Can I have a candid, constructive discussion about the relationship?”

If the answer is “yes”, you will have a potentially easier time dealing with the relational difficulties. If the answer is “no,” don’t despair, most of the time you can still improve the relationship.

Let’s start with “yes.”

When you meet with your boss, you must follow these guidelines:

1) Do not get emotional.
2) Be honest about how you feel, but be sensitive to your boss’s feelings.
3) Be constructive and give concrete examples.
4) Don’t be defensive if your boss disagrees with what you are sharing.

Goal: You need to understand what the problem is from your boss’s perspective.

I can’t stress this enough. If you do not get inside of your manager’s head, you are not likely to discover what it is that irritates him about YOU!

So, if you are in the even more challenged group of workers who do not feel they can approach their boss, you need to become an excellent observer.

When you and your boss are having a bit of a “row,” as the British would put it, you need to observe how he is reacting to you. Observe how you are reacting to him. This is easier said than done; however, you need to listen and watch.

You will get clues as to how you annoy him. You need to know this, even if it is uncomfortable.

Bruce asked me in the interview if a bad relationship with your boss often ends up with you leaving the company or changing bosses.

I don’t think so. I think more people stick it out until they are promoted or learn how to work together even though they do not like each other. After all, you can dislike someone and still have a completely professional relationship with them.

It is within the art of the possible.