Managing Up - Success!

A reader asked me this question recently:

“Question for you on something that just came up and that you have touched on in your blog. Last week, I had to work from home for several days because my son was out of school. Before taking this new role in my company, I spoke about it with my new manager, saying there were several weeks during the year I needed to work from home. She agreed. When I came back on Monday, I found out she had told several of my colleagues (and higher) that I was not really working from home, just taking care of my son. This was not the case–although had I known that was going around, would have loved the opportunity to just play with my son rather than work 40 hours in front of my pc! I have worked from home at this company before with no issue and it is not uncommon in our environment to work from home. My manager is a new manager and when I asked her about this she said she had said that because my priority at home was taking care of my son, not work. Thoughts on how I should address it?

Dear reader,

Bottom line, your manager demonstrated her inexperience. Her response to you was an attempt to save face from her inappropriate and frankly, immature behavior.

1. She does not have the right to go to colleagues nor management with what she deems a problem before approaching you first. Period.

2. She needs to learn that making claims that ultimately cannot be substantiated can get her into trouble. For example, if you pressed her on this and she could not prove her claim, you could go to HR and file a formal complaint. HR does not take kindly to managers who make false statements about employees.

3. You need to address this with her further (manage up). You should tell her that her answer was not satisfactory. She had a responsibility to talk to you first - it is only fair. She misrepresented you to your colleagues and more importantly management. I would also remind her of your arrangement to work at home for several weeks and that she has already agreed to it. If she feels differently about this commitment now, you need to know that. This is really aimed at getting her to re-state her commitment.

I would not let this go. She has demonstrated red flag behavior. This manager could end up adversely affecting your career. Manage her and set expectations. She needs to know what lines she may not cross. Managers can be appropriately trained by their talented, strong employees. Believe me, I have had some excellent employees who have effectively trained me! Good luck.

My reader sent me back this response about a week later:

“I spoke with my manager and found your suggestions to be very helpful. I addressed that I was concerned that she thought I was not “working” at home and I found it alarming that she would tell others that, instead of confronting me. She said she was just joking when she said it and knew I was in fact working because of what I had produced that week and the timeliness of my emails. I reiterated that she agreed to this when I signed on and asked if she was still comfortable with the weeks I needed for work at home. She thought for a moment and said she was. She said that she would not talk poorly of the work at home again and appreciated my work.

While not thrilled with the responses, I am happy that I took it to her and now she is aware. I think it will help us in the future.”

Dear reader,

Job well done! I would have been more impressed had she just admitted her inappropriate behavior rather than calling it a “joke.” However, since we know she is immature in her role as a manager, she probably does not realize that you knew it was not a joke. She redeemed herself by stating that she would not talk poorly about your work at home again and that she appreciated you. That shows that she has potential as a manager.

I agree, this managing up exercise will definitely help you both in the future. Thanks for teaching your boss a valuable lesson.